Embrace your TBI….

The end of this journey is near… many childhood memories have come back… yesterday, watching some science show and a memory played before my eyes… not surprised… TBI and memory loss is not black and white… No medicine is… and that is a fact…

I remember the child I once was, before the brain injuries and the child and woman she could have become, would have been an asset at this moment in time, given my nerdness for science….

But that is not what life dealt me… other people’s choices molded mine, until 2017 Nov 5 came along… 2 days later was when I remembered…. and oh what a journey it has been… some pleasant, much that is not…

Facing reality of what was done to me, was the first step… Finding out what they did to me, was the second step… and the final step…..

Remembering….

When I was raped an ended up pregnant, I made a choice… obviously not the right one, or I would have a relationship with my kid… the 2nd time around, again I made a choice… and again, obviously not the right one… but….

I live by my choices… good or bad, I tried… most people just judge and sit on their ass like Trump and his base… damn, those peeps got wides ass’s….

I embrace my brain injuries… it is a hinderance, annoyance and a gift… It made me aware… an most who walk beside, have no clue, with their heads in that bubble… our kids heads are in that bubble… this pandemic is going to burst it, in so many ugly ways and reality may just creep in…..

Our daughter wants us to live close… but their ability to shelter and no contact is beyond them at this time and would put us at risk and they believe in anti-vaccine… which will make our being near each other ever again, impossible… fear is the mind killer and ignorance is fear…. their choice… we won’t interfer, we will make choices best for us…

The change… oh goodness the change… that little girl that was so full of life and love… she sneaks in on me once an a while and hubby or the dogs, catch me dancing an humming doing chores… not to hide thoughts, but show life… that just shows, I’ve gotten more stable on my feet…. kind of…

So yes, I do embrace my brain injury and all it’s weirdness and hiccups… but, it’s just the tip of the ice berg of who I really am, and so few, truly want to know who I am…..

All social media platforms closed… just the blog left and it is leaving me empty…. When you do something that gives you no feeling of fullfillment, you don’t do it as well as you could… and this blog is there…..

The day has started, mine will be at home… no walk, the body said no… so more time on the machine and exercises…. hot and humid… our summer has started…

Aloha

I remember… Margie… Sgt. USAF DAV

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