Traumatic Brain Injury and Mental Health…. Holy crap on a cracker….

I’ve said before, if you KNOW about the TBI, you are leaps and bounds ahead of me….

I had clues, thousands of clues, most of them didn’t make sense… Time and space was confused and out of place and the puzzle pieces didn’t fit…. and it happened…

Nov 5, 2017 the murder of 26 innocents in Sutherland Springs, Texas and that was the trigger to remember Margie’s deaths…. more than one and how did she survive???

I know by the time Japan came around and I pissed off Freda and when that beating happened, it was too much for that young body… the mind already struggling to survive the violence by the mother… the father betrayed her again…

My goodness, so much I have remembered and so much I have not… If you know you have TBI, you are the lucky one…

I had a weird event in 2014, during a long road trip, wrote about it here… in 2018, the doc here on Hawaii took that info an ran with it… the rest as they say is history…

The MRI and MRA reports were eye opening and it’s taken me these past couple of years to adjust to what went on in a christian home and the fact my mother is still living and refusing to provide me with any medical information about my injuries, so that doctor’s don’t have to keep spinning their wheels with more tests….. thus the truth haters… christians….

Between the Cervical and spinal stenosis, the orthepedic injuries that never healed right and the internal injuries…. 95 % of my health issues are related to christians beating on a child from birth until the last blow at 17….

I’ve been fighting since my birth, to remember…. 65 years of amnesia…. and the living knows their god… I’m ready to put my foot up that god’s ass… so bring it… and I promise, that will be a headache man’s, man made god will never forget… I got a perfect size 7 ready and able….

Mental health… as you can tell I have a sarcastic sense of humor… so sue me… As far as I can remember… It’s a by product of the brain injuries… so christians you are reaping what you sowed by beating on this child… a 100% unfiltered mouth…. welcome to reality chickens…..

Again mental health… as long as I stay honest with myself and don’t get me wrong, there are moments I almost jump on the band wagon of deceit and live the life of lies… but like all things that happen like that… the thought pass’s as quick as it cross’s my path…. honesty is paramount in recovery….

Honesty but fairness… If you beat yourself up everytime you screw up or think you screw up… you are setting yourself up to fail from the get go… I know, been down that path myself and it can get expensive…

So, honesty with yourself, ultra important…. but the most important thing you can do, be fair with yourself… your brain has changed, through no fault of your own… I didn’t do this to myself, christians created me… soldiers don’t go out of their way, war does it to them and thumpers beat on other humans, because they can, and what they leave behind…. is you…

One thing I have learned in all this process and too much reading of medical stuff….

I’m trying and I’m learning, the person who suffered the brain injury and lived those years of illness is not the person you end up being… I know, I am living that path now…

Brain injury changes us… remember, I wrote that I asked the Air Force shrink if you could change your personality, his answer told me, the Air Force was covering up rape and attempted murder and my mental health was just an excuse…. so instead of saying I had PTSD, which all the psych test, all 6 have said, he made up an excuse and I got pushed out on a honorable… but denied medical….

So, with all that said, confused yet???

I didn’t let the lies in 1983 by the Air Force shrink destroy me, instead it made me so mad, I fought for answers… I just didn’t know it would take me 5 decades to get some of those answers….

Neurology again this summer, to see what he thinks of all the MRI’s and MRA… treatment course for the body….. as for the brain….

There are some things in my past I may never remember… and I may not have a high functioning photographic memory is the laymans term… but I know I have an ability, that has made doctors and CEO’s an CFO’s piss their panties… so, game not over yet…

I don’t sit and weep, I don’t sit and brood… I do sit a lot, okay I’m not as active as I should be right now, because we are getting hot… and sleep isn’t happening thanks to rooster and bangers…. but I’m not deep in depression like I was…. I’m productive… an hoping, that as the exercises build, I’ll be able to make use of my hands and play with the PC more… right now… me and mouse are not friends…

If this tirade made sense, yippee, sometimes… I just put it down for future reference… problem is, I never go back an look……

Day started, hubby out walking the pups, my body said no on leaving the house… it is what it is….

I told our daughter, pass it around, sign up for school and FAFSA… plus all the other programs and scholarships and free money… might as well learn something instead of sitting on your ass and getting drunk…. but sitting on your ass can be fun, boring but fun…. but how you gonna pay the bills???

Have a great day… got things to do, before it heats up….

I remember… Margie… Sgt. USAF DAV

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