They say home is where the heart is??? Not to sure about that…
Being a military brat and a veteran… living in one place is like a gypsy saying no more wine…. it gets in the blood and that itchy foot just keeps itching…
Not so much anymore, in fact… I long for a home that I can look at and say, I never have to move again… 1. I hate moving, packing and all that goes with it…
My mind keeps going back to the conversation with the neurologist and I keep going back to one subject…. Focalization or Localization… a fixation I need to get past, along with a couple other old hang ups, because of mommy dearest… I’m working on it…
I wrote sometime ago, about how doctors pigeoned holed me into 1 category and that they didn’t listen and take into consideration what I was telling them… In other words, the health care system in the VA is death care…. True Story…
So I am working on taking that thought the doctors drilled into me about my health for decades and put the thought process in its proper order….
First off, I don’t have 1 issue…. I have dozens of issues….
I have multiple brain injuries….
I have multiple blunt force trauma fractures leading to peripherial and autonomic neuropathy….
I have multiple internal injuries that healed by themselves….
I wish you could of heard the noise escaping my lips just now… the frustration is real and I remind myself, relax the mandible…it’s what got you up at 2AM!!!! UGH!!!!
Going forward, I have to re-enforce to myself…….
YOU’VE BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!
Does this change anything???, in a way…. Yes….
I no longer doubt myself about my knowledge…. I no longer worry about what I don’t know or understand…. and I accept, I can’t change what has happened to my body by christians….
So now what???
Well the neurologist wants me to write this blog for my own mental health… really dude??? I haven’t proven enough to you already, you want me to continue this exercise???? (I just rolled my eyes!!)
Play the game I will, one step ahead of the educated man I will be… but his schooling is what I lack, so play nice I will… but my recovery is not dependent upon his opinion or knowledge….
My recovery is solely upon me and after so many decades of darkness that light in my hand is a nice reward…. I made it to the end of the tunnel… the rest should be a cake walk or I’ll end up eating my words….
Have a nice day, stay safe and stay home….
I remember… Margie… Sgt. USAF DAV