Traumatic Brain Injury, finding my way home…

They say home is where the heart is??? Not to sure about that…

Being a military brat and a veteran… living in one place is like a gypsy saying no more wine…. it gets in the blood and that itchy foot just keeps itching…

Not so much anymore, in fact… I long for a home that I can look at and say, I never have to move again… 1. I hate moving, packing and all that goes with it…

My mind keeps going back to the conversation with the neurologist and I keep going back to one subject…. Focalization or Localization… a fixation I need to get past, along with a couple other old hang ups, because of mommy dearest… I’m working on it…

I wrote sometime ago, about how doctors pigeoned holed me into 1 category and that they didn’t listen and take into consideration what I was telling them… In other words, the health care system in the VA is death care…. True Story…

So I am working on taking that thought the doctors drilled into me about my health for decades and put the thought process in its proper order….

First off, I don’t have 1 issue…. I have dozens of issues….

I have multiple brain injuries….

I have multiple blunt force trauma fractures leading to peripherial and autonomic neuropathy….

I have multiple internal injuries that healed by themselves….

I wish you could of heard the noise escaping my lips just now… the frustration is real and I remind myself, relax the mandible…it’s what got you up at 2AM!!!! UGH!!!!

Going forward, I have to re-enforce to myself…….

YOU’VE BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!

Does this change anything???, in a way…. Yes….

I no longer doubt myself about my knowledge…. I no longer worry about what I don’t know or understand…. and I accept, I can’t change what has happened to my body by christians….

So now what???

Well the neurologist wants me to write this blog for my own mental health… really dude??? I haven’t proven enough to you already, you want me to continue this exercise???? (I just rolled my eyes!!)

Play the game I will, one step ahead of the educated man I will be… but his schooling is what I lack, so play nice I will… but my recovery is not dependent upon his opinion or knowledge….

My recovery is solely upon me and after so many decades of darkness that light in my hand is a nice reward…. I made it to the end of the tunnel… the rest should be a cake walk or I’ll end up eating my words….

Have a nice day, stay safe and stay home….

I remember… Margie… Sgt. USAF DAV

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