TBI Recovery, the long road home….

In 2010, I was 56 years old and I stood in Freda’s kitchen and told her I was missing memory…. her reluctance to tell me, what they did to a childs body, spoke volumes of the christian woman who knows her god…. wonder if Trumps spiritual advisor knows her god, her foot seems to know IT???

Yesterday, wow…. I’m starting to like this Neurologist… I go back over the first PT, an what she did to relax my facial muscles, because everything was locked in the wrong position and I knew it was because of my dental, just not why… the neurologist hit on it yesterday, an my suspicions are right… I have that condition that rearranges the structure of my mouth, all because of the dentures the VA made an I begged for them to remake… 10 years of hell and counting… well, at least America is getting a taste of sub standard care, over whelmed health care professionals and lack of supplies… that has been the VA since I started using it in 1984…. I screamed, now you yahoos listen because it impacts you… tells ya what Americans truly think about veterans… we are expendable.. still think that way as they wipe your sick ass???.

Having the neurologist affirm my own diagnosis and confirm a few other things… left me happy and very angry… because the living is still not talking to me… but their god hears it all…. to bad that is full blown mental illness…..

No more psych testing, no more EEG’s… no, what he thought before, the science shows it’s all brain injury and not strokes…. the brain injuries just look like strokes and that is where I got fixated… so back to reality of brain injury… honestly denial is so much a part of this road or journey to recovery…. I know, I’ve been on this road since 1968……an I finally grab that light at the end of the tunnel… Now what do I do????

Physically, it is a non stop struggle… but now when I rub an area of my body and feel a lump, I don’t freak… it’s not a tumor… it’s the by product of blunt force trauma fractures from adults beating up a child… ie… mommy dearest…. so physically, I have to exercise, I have to do the things for my neck to keep it from killing me and I just absolutely have to be sarcastic….

Neurologist wants me to continue the blog!!! I was so ready to quit, dealing with it all in my brain… but no… the man wants me to continue the mental health side of this… I mean, really dude, UGH!!! I don’t want to learn this app!!!

After listening, reading and researching this pandemic and the science… we are so screwed on leaving here… mainland, no big deal… but we have to fly us and dogs home and that price just tripled, because of this mess our leaders let happen….

House hunting we will be doing… moving… that may take a couple years for the airlines to get back up to full running capacity and not cost us and arm and a leg…..

The neurologist confirmed much of what I suspected and tossed out my speculations…

I have a condition only because christian adults beat up a child… I have multiple brain injuries…. and I survived…most of all… I remembered!!!.

The neurologist also agreed with me on my memory ability… it’s not so much that I have Edetic or photographic memory… it’s because my injuries to the brain started at infancy from shaken baby syndrome, it formed the way I make memories…

I told everyone for decades, the dumbest thing you can do is lie to me…. because like an elephant…

Liars are my favorite diet… and I rarely forget a lie, when told to me….

I don’t expect PT to happen till this fall and I don’t expect dental to happen till this fall…. but if the neuro doc and I are both right about my facial structure being rearranged and the cause of the pain… Hawaii will be home for another 2 years as they take care of this dental issue, why??? Because my wearing dentures is like you wearing braces… all the damage to my body and my head by repeated blows to my face by mommy dearest, things are not where they should be…. this is so not going to be fun…..

If we are stuck here, hubby plans to use the opportunity to buy a new fancy 1 ton so we can have a bigger travel trailer…. doesn’t hurt to dream, but that price is going to have to come down for me to agree, but a big travel trailer, we can take the great gran kids all over the U.S……

Traffic as usual, we won’t hit our peak for another month and that’s when our sheltering at home did us some good… we have such poor leadership here… our daughter said Washington is on shutdown till May 6th… they live in a rural area and that hospital system won’t be able to handle more than a few patients…. so wish we were home…..

Still digesting all the things the neuro doc and I talked about… we hit on all the subjects in rapid order and he kept up… I finally feel like I’m getting to the end of this journey… Is that possible???…..

Have a wonderful day, stay home and stay safe….

I remember… Margie, Sgt. USAF DAV

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