Still missing memory….

I’ve read over a thousand books…. everything from history, biography’s, science fiction, romance, detective, psychology, neurology and I can’t tell you the story line of many of them… nada… zip… poof…..

I wrote a while back about the BBC TV series Midsomer Murders…. we bought all the DVD’s and watched… and a few years later we sat down to watch them again and I knew every story line and still do….

What does this mean???

If you know how we make memories and how they are stored, this makes sense for memory loss, due to strokes… not just one, but many strokes….

I knew when I confronted Freda in 2010, I was remembering… I was getting back the memories from my childhood and what I lost on Japan in 85 was back in my little grey cells and I had the surgery at El Paso VA Nov 2011 and I lost it all… everything…. and the chaos hit from all directions…. and the anger….

I asked for help and when I go back an look at what the El Paso VA wrote in my medical records… it wasn’t about helping me, it was about protecting the job and the facility…. and they put it in writing…. just wow… and we thought Trump was bad…. holy crap on a cracker are federal employees crooked…. not all, but my experience, about 45 % of them do criminal activity to protect their jobs or steal from the system…. an that is a fact…

It’s weird that the memory I’m missing is specific, like all the books I have read…. I haven’t read a book in 20 years…. and I used to read at least 1 or 2 a month… used too…. but I can remember the TV series in detail… each case study… I know the outcome…

Right now, it’s about dealing with the allergy to the dentures, I keep them in less than 10 hours a day and some of the symptoms are not as intense or so I thought and yesterday it was bad… all day long bad… so, it’s got to be more about chemistry than I understand…. and I have months of this ahead of me and months for it to get out of my system… oh yea for VA snail care….

Will I get the memories back that I’m missing… my adult years, I got to say yes… as for the injury to the brain in 1967 by blunt force trauma…. that one, the jury is still out on… I wasn’t any more closer to it, in 2010…. I think, but again, with the stroke at the El Paso VA… that threw a wrench into my recovery….

Neurology in April, an hope they can answer about the allergy being the seizure cause and answer some questions about what I have to look forward too, with strokes being a big part of my make-up…. and do I need cardiology involved with my life??? Appointments are made, in time, answers will come, maybe….

I know that I get memories back at the weirdest, or oddest moments of every waking and dreaming moment…. I find myself making a sound sometimes when they happen….

Brain injury, strokes…. memory loss or amnesia…. never a dull moment…. but… at least it’s not scary… I know what is happening and what happened and like I always say… Knowledge is power, when it comes to brain injury….

Sgt. USAF DAV I remember… Margie… hope you do too….

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