This morning was different when I got out of bed…. the light from the patio kicking on at 5:30 and up I am…. and I realized it all felt different…. my thought process when I roll out of bed is different and how in the world do I explain this????
I knew something was wrong after the leg surgery at El Paso VA… I knew it immediately, but I had followup and when PT came along, that’s when I knew for sure… they hurt me on the operating table, because the PT dude picked up on the anomaly …. my left leg turned out…. just like it was after Big Springs, Texas in 1967…. I had a stroke….
Now on this part I’m going on what I’ve lived, not what the text books say in neurology or psychology….
My first clue….when I was working on my VA appeal and what I sent back in was a total mess… came across the paperwork and I withdrew my appeal here on Hawaii…. before the lawyer at the VA board and explained why….
I had a blood stain on the brain and obvious trauma to the brain, per the MRI & MRA… 12/26/18……. when did it happen???
I had a MRI or CT contrast scan of my brain at the Oregon VA in 2000, supposedly it was negative for issues, cannot confirm that yet….
That being said, when the stroke happened in 2011, I loss memory and it was haunting and confusing… because I would have to look up information or search through records or someone else would have to bring up the memory…. because I forgot or the memories got smothered by blood on the brain or the stroke in it’s self hit the memory area that was missing for a while…. I had speech issues, memory issues, attitude issues, which were more frustration than anything…. but it was all familiar and I didn’t remember why, because what ever got hit in 2011, impacted my childhood memories that I had been recovering…. I lost it all in that one surgical procedure and was put into chaos that eventually ended in a break through Nov 7, 2017 after those 26 were murdered in Texas……
When the neurologist said he saw no reason on the MRI why I wouldn’t remember…. I knew my childhood should come forward…. I just had to confirm that what happended in El Paso, happened and when hubby brought up what I told him in post-op after recovery… that was it… the stroke did happen and it explained all the issues I had endured since that surgery and the struggle….
I still have missing memory… but it’s about my childhood, not my adult life….
Just getting to this point and knowing all that went on in my thought process, has been proven correct…. sadly……
I still have issues… but not like it was in Dec 2018, when I got the MRI and was totally freaked out….
Yep, it’s nice to be back home in my own skin…. not feeling like I was a guest in it, but living in it….
The reaction from the doctors at the Oahu VA about what I told them, stroke, VA, 2011, no faith, need for special care…. the head dude is who called me… I got heard…..
A sigh just escaped me, not of tension, fear, anger or frustration…. a sigh of knowledge….
It should be an interesting ride this next chapter of my life…
Should be fun…..
Sgt. USAF DAV I remember… Margie