Anyone else doing a lot of thinking???

When Don died in 06… I shed no tears for the man I called dad… Even back at that time… I knew things were not right between us and I made him uncomfortable with my kindness, by hugging and kissing him every time I left his home…. we lived near them the last few years of his life… so easy to pop in…

When I watched the circus go down and the subsequent influx of aunts and uncles at my house after his passing… as I was not with him… that’s another drama… that only christians can manufacture… and they told me what went on… I knew I wouldn’t be there for a funeral either… We left a few days later for Khino Bay, Mexico with our 5th wheel….

This confab…. a chapter closed when he died… and when I got my memories back 2 years ago… it felt good, to know I treated him better than he ever treated me… he did so much violence and cut my light out for a short time… those ribs hurt today, 52 years later…. as do the headaches….

I made a comment to Peggy once that it wouldn’t be over till Freda was gone… that was about 15 years ago…. again… I knew something was off with the relationship I had with my mother and my sister knew this…. she knew so much as I speak of her in the past tense… yes she is living as is mother…..

What got me thinking??? How to pay for the next medical appointments I need to get more answers about my old injuries…. and to confirm progression of the ones I know of already…

Was cooking dinner and frying some fries in the skillet and oil popped, hit me all over… mostly my shirt… I felt a slight warmness, but never found the burn, until I took a shower… 2nd degree on my shoulder… another scar to add to so many….. I never felt the pain…. same goes for blood work….

Had a draw done and the kid could not hit the vein and he’s moving that needle around inside my arm looking for the vein… pulls out and does a 2nd stick….

I felt nothing…..

It’s all about muscle memory now and on that note… shower and another day of squeezing in the exercises that are keeping me mobile… but anyway… next doc’s appt… referral out for ortho and neuro, using my medicare… I should have the last hospital bill for my eyes in a few days… VA death care for me is quickly becoming a thing of the past…. now if they would just get the dental done… I would be so happy…..

good night….

I Remember…. Margie….

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