Thru the Rabbit Hole

I have many things I can not tolerate visually and it’s been that way since the TV beating….

One sensation that I deal with and oh boy could it be a fun ride and only in the last year have I finally put it together… that falling sensation, will happen any time, any place and any environment… and when it does, the memories will float by just as if you were Alice falling down the rabbit hole and you see your past float past you… kind of wish it would do that on the future….

If I am paying attention, not stoned on pot or caught up in the pain… I will grab some that float by and take a brief look and just remember it’s a memory from my childhood and file it away… lots of time these memories do not come in as a full blown video… it’s more like a puzzle and you have to figure out what is real and what is self preservation memories…

I think that is how I survived the trauma of my own death by my parents and how I survived the betrayal of my sister and brother…. it is sad, Don & Freda have so much sway over the siblings, but life is about choice and they choose to be told how to live, instead of living…

Sleep is not good, rooster at 4AM found out my dogs like to chase at the sound of the word CAT and open door, no hesitation to run outside and bark…. though they have never encountered a cat in their lives, just the word gets them barking and from 4AM to 5AM, every 15 mins, we heard the word CAT in our household….. our neighbors have 2 acres, why they put the animals on the property line, right next to ours tells you not all veterans are all together and thus our want and need to get out of Hawaii’s form of paradise….

The day has been started now for 3 hours thanks to our neighbors bird and it’s location… so got to get ready for the Contractor to finish the job and oh my goodness, it would have been a nightmare if we had done it… it took all 3 of us to get that 12 ft strip up… and we did and it held over night, now on to the finish work and putting the house back together for selling….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie…

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